My Time in Morocco

Rant Time!

I have absolutely loved Morocco and I have learned so much. I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to explore this beautiful country. But I feel like I am reaching my limit. All I want to do is go for a walk without having to be vigilant and avoid men’s eyes! I want to be able to sit quietly at a cafe and hang out with my friends without being approached by a guy! I want to walk down the street without being leered at! Every Moroccan woman must deal with it but because I am very clearly a foreigner (red hair, and freckles), I get way more attention. 

I think it’s the entitled men here that have been really bothering me. I handled it at the beginning but over time your shield gets damaged and dealing with this daily takes a toll. The other day we were sitting at a bar watching the women’s fifa world cup and this guy came over all polite and asked us our names and our nationality. While he was being polite, my friends and I knew to be on the defense because men always want something. What he really wanted was to bully us into changing the TV to a men’s soccer game (which was playing in the section next to us). We told him to change areas because we were not the only table watching the game. He said that he would “show us!” and went over a yelled at our waitress and when she refused, he yelled at the owner kicking up a huge fuss. Our waitress told us later that we should not have told him to move. Which is completely ridiculous! That same night, the guy at the table next to us kept staring at us and when we looked over at him (as one naturally does when you are being stared at) he took it as an invitation to come over and talk to us. This all happened during a 1h30min soccer game! And that doesn’t even include all the comments I got on the street when I walked there and back. I’m exhausted by all these entitled men!

I went to a music festival this week and a Moroccan girl friend of mine brought some guys who she knew from school because she didn’t feel comfortable going without “protection”. Before the concert started one of them asked me my NGO and when I said they work to promote women and women leadership he said, “What about the guys?”. I thought he was joking at first but then I realized he was serious! He truly didn’t believe that an NGO should concentrate on Moroccan women. Not to mention that the whole way through the concert he kept trying to pull me closer to him so he could “watch over me” when honestly the only person I felt threatened by was him. I couldn’t understand why my Moroccan friend allowed him to drape himself over her and hold her so possessively, she’s got a masters degree from France and she is independent a strong independent woman! This guy is some kid who she knew in elementary school who has nowhere near the experience and education she has and who clearly does not respect her!

I feel like the majority of Moroccan men are not violent assailants but rather guys like him who are raised with this notion of entitlement and who might, in theory, believe women are equal, they have a different idea of equality. These old notions are still ingrained in the heads of young men. It breaks my heart and disgusts me when boys of 12-15 yell at me on the street and leer at me. These groups actually scare me the most because they are trying to prove themselves almost like a right of passage. It seems to be so deeply ingrained in the male gender norms of Morocco. There are coffee shops everywhere in Morocco but I hate walking by them because the terrace is usually filled with men drinking coffee and watching people go by. When I walk by, I feel all their eyes on me looking at me like a piece of meat or as if I was the last woman on earth. I was reading my book quietly in a park and some guy twice my age just had to come over to say “hi”! I have heard so many stories and my experiences don’t even compare to those of other women here. 

I had heard that the interns before me had a hard time with the street harassment so I prepared myself for it. I feel like I’ve been handling it really well but after two months, it’s taking its toll on me. I’m sick and tired of dealing with this every single day. I miss being anonymous and unnoticed in Canada. I just want to be left alone! I want to relax as I walk down the street! I want to talk to my friends without getting interrupted! I’m so incredibly sick of the toxic masculinity here